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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410383">Under Wraps</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dumb_Trash_Monster/pseuds/Dumb_Trash_Monster'>Dumb_Trash_Monster</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Parks and Recreation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Arguing, F/M, Fluff, Jealousy, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Break Up, Secret Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:07:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,306</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410383</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dumb_Trash_Monster/pseuds/Dumb_Trash_Monster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When a new guy at City Hall shows interest in Leslie, Ben can't help but feel jealous even though they broke up months ago for Leslie's campaign. Will Leslie and Ben be able to keep their relationship in the past amongst the new complications?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. You Don't Know This Guy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks to Sarcastic_Soulmate for being a great beta reader and sounding board.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leslie sat at the bench in front of the wildflower as Ann walked away. They had been eating lunch up there and talking about ideas for the Parks Department and the Health Department to collaborate on. At least, that’s what they had planned on talking about. They spent most of their time talking about Leslie’s argument with Ben at the Model UN two days ago.</p><p>Ann was off to a meeting, and Leslie had some campaign ideas, so she stayed at the bench and took out a notebook from her purse to start jotting things down. Not too much time had passed before an unfamiliar voice broke her concentration.</p><p>“Hi. I’m Patrick. Do you know where the city manager’s office is? This building is huge, and I can’t find it.”</p><p>Leslie looked up to see a tall, pale man with broad shoulders, a bright red tie, and a hint of a smile. She’d never seen him before. He must’ve been new. He was also rather attractive.</p><p>“Maybe the reason you can’t find it is that you’re on the wrong floor,” she answered sarcastically.</p><p>He stroked his chin in thought. “You might be onto something,” he said with mock-seriousness.</p><p>Leslie smiled and stood up. “I can help you find it. This place is pretty confusing. It took me almost an hour to memorize the layout when I first started.”</p><p>“That’s all?”</p><p>“I’m a fast learner.” Leslie realized she hadn’t introduced herself, so she reached out and shook his hand. “Leslie Knope, deputy director of the Parks Department.”</p><p>“Patrick Murphy. I just started in public works.”</p><p>“That’s great. I can show you where the city manager’s office is. I want to drop off some budget requests for the assistant city manager, and the offices are connected.”</p><p>As they walked, Leslie and Patrick got to talking, and she learned that he was from Ontario. He told her about Canada, and she gave him a briefing on the basics of Pawnee: <em>The library is evil. The people who work at the Sewage Department are grosser than actual sewage. Raccoons are one of the leading causes of death in Pawnee behind heart disease and diabetes.</em></p><p>“This town sounds colorful,” Patrick cheerfully remarked.</p><p>“It can be odd, but it’s definitely the best town ever.”</p><p>Patrick nodded. “Hey, can you tell me anything about the city manager and the assistant city manager? This is my first meeting with them and I’m nervous.”</p><p>Not really wanting to talk about Ben, Leslie summarised Chris. “Chris is pretty eccentric. He’s the city manager. He’s a big health nut. Always jogging and taking huge pills. If he points at you and says your name back to you immediately upon learning it, don’t worry, that’s normal.”</p><p>Patrick chuckled. It was a loud, pleasant sound that echoed throughout the hallway and made Leslie laugh along with him.</p><p>“Should I be scared of him?” Patrick asked earnestly.</p><p>“No. A lot of his job is to investigate the government and watch out for corruption, but I’m pretty sure you could bribe him with a bran muffin if you wanted funding for a project.”</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind. And what about the other guy?”</p><p>Leslie frowned in thought for a moment, but Patrick didn’t seem to notice.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure Ben does all of the actual work. If you ask Chris for anything, he’ll turn to Ben. He’s a little bit of a stickler, but overall, he’s reasonable. Also, it’s very easy to tell when he’s upset about something; he’ll be even more tightly wound than he normally is. So if he snaps, don’t worry about it, he’s probably just stressed from carrying the entire government on his back.” Leslie paused, then corrected herself. “Most of the government. A lot of it.”</p><p>They were now reaching the office door. Before opening it, Patrick turned to Leslie and smirked. “So what I’m hearing is ‘give Chris bran muffins and Ben is a tightass’?”</p><p>“That's not a bad starting point,” she replied with a shrug as she pushed the heavy door open.</p><p>Patrick wandered into Chris’s office where Ben was sitting at a large table watching Chris do pushups on the floor next to him. Leslie caught Ben’s eye and held up a file. “I’m just gonna leave this on your desk.” He responded with a thumbs up, and Leslie walked back into the main hallway, vaguely feeling someone’s gaze lingering on her as she left.</p><p>//</p><p>Patrick got through his meeting with Ben and Chris. Ben had only given him a fifth of the budget he’d requested. He also seemed tense during the meeting. He thought back to what Leslie had said earlier and assumed something was bothering him, so he had decided to tread lightly.</p><p>After the meeting, Patrick followed Ben to his desk, where Ben was already starting to flip through the file Leslie had dropped off. Patrick ignored the soft smile that had taken residence on Ben’s face as he read and said something he’d been thinking for a while. “So she’s cool.”</p><p>Ben didn’t even look up when he responded, “Who? Leslie?”</p><p>Patrick found it a bit odd that Ben immediately guessed her when the last time they’d seen her was over an hour ago, but he ignored it because he wasn’t wrong. “Yeah. Is she dating anyone?”</p><p>Now Ben looked up, his gaze turning more pointed. Then he seemed a bit flustered. “I-I don’t think so. If she was, I don’t- I don’t know if she would’ve told me. But I think she’s- I don’t think she is.”</p><p>“Cool. Would it be really unprofessional for me to ask her out?”</p><p>“I’d ask Chris. He’s the one in charge.”</p><p>“Leslie told me you did all the work.”</p><p>Ben raised an eyebrow and fought off a smile. “That’s somewhat accurate. But he’s the one with the rules about intergovernmental relationships.”</p><p>Patrick thanked him and walked back into Chris’s office, where Chris was hanging upside-down from a large, metal contraption.</p><p>//</p><p>Ben listened in on their conversation. He’d sent Patrick to Chris knowing that Chris would shoot down Patrick’s idea. Which is why he was so surprised when he heard Chris say, “You’re in public works, she’s in parks. I see no conflict of interest. Go ahead. Leslie Knope is <em>literally</em> the most dedicated public servant this state has ever seen! She is absolutely fantastic! Good luck.” Ben could practically hear Chris’s ecstatic finger-guns.</p><p>Patrick walked back into Ben’s office and gave him a grin along with two thumbs up as he exited into the hallway.</p><p>Ben stared down at his desk, unable to concentrate on anything. Once he heard the office door close behind Patrick, he buried his head in his hands and groaned.</p><p>He was starting to feel some animosity towards Patrick, which he felt bad about, but ultimately couldn’t control. Patrick hadn’t done anything to Ben, but he still felt a little surge of anger every time he pictured Patrick’s pale face. Especially when he pictured that face anywhere near Leslie’s.</p><p>Ben had never really experienced envy, but he couldn’t help but frustratedly wonder if he was the only one who wasn’t allowed to date Leslie.</p><p>//</p><p>Sometime in the afternoon, Ben looked through his window to see Leslie sitting in the courtyard with Tom. On the table in front of them sat a cluster of spread-out papers. He wasn’t sure what they were planning, but Tom looked more invested than he normally did.</p><p>Both Tom and Leslie looked up from their papers as Patrick walked into the courtyard and slid into a bench at their table.</p><p>Ben couldn’t hear their conversation, given that he was inside and not on ground level like they were. But he was fairly certain that even if he were right there with them, the only thing he would be able to hear would be his heartbeat pounding in his head.</p><p>Even though he heard none of their conversation, it was easy enough to piece together what was happening. Patrick said something to Leslie, she grinned, and Tom looked utterly shocked.</p><p>Ben attempted not to scowl as he watched Patrick write something on a small piece of paper then hand it to Leslie.</p><p>Patrick confidently sauntered off, and Tom started enthusiastically saying something to Leslie.</p><p>Ben realized that he had to sit down; he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go without punching a wall. He forcefully plopped down in his chair and tried to remember one of Chris’s techniques for lowering one’s pulse.</p><p>This physical anger was such an alien feeling to him. He’d never felt it, and he never wanted to feel it again, but like so many things in his life, it wasn’t something he could control.</p><p>He had just watched some dickhead successfully ask out Leslie after knowing her for a total of four hours. Was he supposed to not be upset? That was above his pay grade.</p><p>Would this dickhead watch documentaries with Leslie with genuine interest? Would this dickhead listen to her intently for hours as she told him about her newest ideas? Would this dickhead’s face light up every time he saw her? Would this dickhead fall in love with her? And more importantly, would she fall in love with him?</p><p>Would Ben have to stand on the sidelines and watch that happen?</p><p>//</p><p>As Leslie sat in her office towards the end of the day, preparing a new binder full of ideas, she heard rushed footsteps in the previously-empty-bullpen. She looked up to see Ben entering her office with a scowl on his face. He was gripping his padfolio so tightly that his knuckles were turning white (at least, more white than they regularly were).</p><p>“You’re going on a date with Patrick?” Ben angrily whispered.</p><p>“Yes, I am. Do you have a problem with that?” Leslie responded calmly.</p><p>“As a matter of fact, I do have a problem with that,” Ben said quickly and quietly, though his volume was rapidly rising. “For one, you don’t know him. You literally met him today!”</p><p>Leslie was enraged by the idea that Ben thought he had any business lecturing her about dating. She completely abandoned the idea that she could remain calm through this conversation and yelled, “Last time I checked, the point of first dates is to get to know someone! You don’t have to know someone for a long time to go out with them!”</p><p>“You knew me for almost a year before we went out!”</p><p>Leslie rolled her eyes. “That was different,” she said through gritted teeth.</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“Come on, you know how. First: We worked together. Second: In case you’re forgetting, I hated you! You reminded me of Idi Amin! You know who’s never reminded me of Idi Amin? Every single person that I have ever met other than you! That includes Patrick.”</p><p>Ben smirked. “You seemed to get over the whole Idi Amin thing pretty quickly.”</p><p>“Fine, but the way you’re acting right now, I might go back to that. You have no reason to be handing out judgments about who I go on dates with! Did you forget what you told me at Mick Jagger’s abandoned gas station? You said ‘I know what you’re doing. We broke up.’” She said the last part in a mocking, nasally voice.</p><p>“Oh, so you’d be fine with it if I went out with Shauna? And that’s not what I sound like.”</p><p>“Yes, it is exactly what you sound like. And yeah. Do it. Date Shauna. I don’t care! Why should I? There’s no reason for me to care, and there’s no reason for you to care!” Leslie shouted as she gestured wildly with her hands.</p><p>“You seemed to care then.”</p><p>“Things have changed, Ben. We’re all over it!”</p><p>Ben leaned closer and pointed a finger at her. “<em>We’re</em> over it? You’re really over it? Things have changed that much in nine days? I don’t think you’re over it. I don’t think you’re in a place to start dating Patrick right now.”</p><p>“Don’t flatter yourself, Ben. You’re not some golden snitch of a man that’s impossible to get over,” Leslie scoffed.</p><p>“Are you really referencing Harry Potter right now?”</p><p>“I’ll reference Harry Potter when I want to reference Harry Potter!”</p><p>“So you’re completely over everything that happened?” Ben asked loudly as he took a step away from her.</p><p>“Yes! How many times do I have to tell you? Yes!”</p><p>Ben furrowed his brows and crossed his arms. “I don’t believe you,” he murmured.</p><p>“Here’s the thing: You don’t have to believe me! Your opinion no longer matters to me. You are not a part of my life! You’ve made that abundantly clear! We’re not dating, and we’re not friends, so there’s no reason for us to even be having this conversation at all right now! Unless you want to be a possessive asshole trying to control someone you have no claim to. Is that what you want?”</p><p>Ben looked at the ground and took a deep breath. Then he spoke so quietly that Leslie could barely hear him, his voice tinged with malice. “I guess you’re right. That’s not what I want. Sorry. I hope your date with Patrick goes well. He seems nice enough.”</p><p>“Thank you. Have fun with Tweep,” she sneered as he turned and left her office, walking quickly through the Parks Department.</p><p>Leslie looked back at her binder, then got the feeling someone was staring at her. She glanced around the department only to see that it wasn’t as empty as she once thought it was. Donna was looking up at her with wide eyes and raised eyebrows, and Ron leaned against the doorframe of his office wearing a concerned look on his usually-stoic face.</p><p>Leslie must not have seen Donna behind her computer and Ron in his office. She was horrified. She ground her teeth as she wondered if they had been yelling loud enough for Donna to hear. It would be okay if Ron heard since he already knew, but Donna was a different story.</p><p>Ron’s gruff voice rang out, “I don’t want to get involved, but that sounded… charged. Are you alright?”</p><p>Leslie quickly nodded. Ron gave her a skeptical frown before returning to the depths of his office. Leslie glanced at Donna, who was still staring at her.</p><p>“Are you not gonna address that?” Donna asked incredulously.</p><p>Leslie walked over to her and sat across the desk from her. “How much did you hear?”</p><p>“I heard parts. Enough to get the gist. It sounded juicy.”</p><p>“Well it wasn’t juicy; it was stupid.”</p><p>Donna tilted her head as if she expected Leslie to keep talking.</p><p>So Leslie kept talking. “Patrick, this new guy who works in public works, asked me out, and I said yes. And then Ben just came into my office and started getting all mad at me about it. He was like ‘You don’t even know him,’ and ‘you’re not in a place to date him,’ and stupid stuff like that.”</p><p>“Why does he care?”</p><p>Leslie thought for a moment and sighed. “Donna, can you keep a secret?”</p><p>“Do you know who you’re looking at?”</p><p>Leslie smiled at that. “Um, Ben and I started dating in May, then we broke up a couple of months ago,” she whispered as her eyes darted nervously around the room.</p><p>“Oh, I knew that,” Donna said. “I was more curious about why he cares.”</p><p>Leslie blinked in shock “Hang on, you knew about that?”</p><p>“Of course I knew about that. Hell, I thought everybody knew about that. He kept looking at you. Then you started looking back. Also, whenever you guys interacted, you weren’t all that subtle. Also, he started crying while dressed as Batman at the mall.”</p><p>“Oh. Do you think everyone knows? Because if everyone knows then I am so screwed. There’s this-”</p><p>“Nah,” Donna interrupted as she leaned back in her chair. “I take it back, I don’t think they don’t know. I’m just observant. And you didn’t answer my question. Why does he care?”</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>“Come on, now. I heard that. Sounds like he’s not over you.”</p><p>“I mean, I don’t think he is. But I can’t be mad at him for that because I’m not really over him either.”</p><p>“So you lied to him about being over him?”</p><p>“Well, I’m not just gonna tell him I’m using Patrick as a distraction when he tried to do the same thing with Tweep and just didn’t get that far because he’s a jerk,” Leslie said all in one breath.</p><p>Donna didn’t say anything, instead choosing to give Leslie a judgemental look.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Donna leaned forward. “Okay, don’t use anybody. That’s not like you. That’s like me. And if there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you handle men much differently than I do.”</p><p>Leslie looked at the ground, a little ashamed. “So what should I do?”</p><p>“I’m not sure, Knope. But I do know that you shouldn’t use this new guy to make that little twig-man jealous. Date him if you actually want to. Oh and, if you don’t want that guy Patrick, you can send him my way,” Donna answered with a sly grin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Other People</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days later, it was a Thursday. And it also happened to be the day that Patrick was going on a date with Leslie. He had asked her out, then realized he knew nothing about restaurants in the town, so she picked a place. </p>
<p>It was a sort of casual Italian place that looked pretty nice to Patrick as he walked across the parking lot and towards the restaurant entrance where Leslie was standing. She seemed a bit different than she normally did.</p>
<p>Patrick had talked to her a few times since asking her out, but he’d never seen her looking so...anxious. Her arms were crossed, her eyebrows were furrowed, and her teeth gnawed on her bottom lip. He was pretty sure she would be pacing around if it weren’t for the crowded entrance.</p>
<p>She also looked nicer than he’d ever seen her look before. She was dressed up, wearing a black dress and a necklace. He tried not to stare at her, but he probably failed.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he said casually as he walked up to her.</p>
<p>“Fancy seeing you here,” she responded in a posh voice.</p>
<p>Patrick laughed at her bad attempt at a British accent. She smiled up at him. </p>
<p>“You do look very fancy,” Patrick replied.</p>
<p>“I don’t think that’s what that means, but thank you. You’re also looking very fancy.”</p>
<p>“Why thank you. Should we head in?”</p>
<p>//</p>
<p>After sitting at the table and ordering her food, Leslie told Patrick about the harvest festival.</p>
<p>As their food arrived, Patrick was telling Leslie about his first few years in America, and how it was so much different than Canada. Of course, the topic of socialized medicine came up, and both of them strongly agreed that it should be implemented in America.</p>
<p>This date was going extremely well. Which caused Leslie to panic a little internally. </p>
<p>She felt guilty. She felt wrong.</p>
<p>She liked Patrick, but she couldn’t help but feel that he was missing something. </p>
<p>He was missing the tall brown hair. He was missing the self-deprecating smile. He was missing the failed attempt at creating a winter sports complex.</p>
<p>He was so close to being perfect except for one thing. He wasn’t Ben.</p>
<p>Leslie studied Patrick carefully. To see if he raised one eyebrow skeptically. To see if he tilted his head when he smiled. </p>
<p>He didn’t.</p>
<p>At one point, there was a lull in the conversation, and Leslie took it as an opportunity to ask, “Do you like Star Trek? How do you feel about R.E.M.? Pizzas or calzones?”</p>
<p>“Not really, not a fan, and pizzas. Why? You a big Star Trek, R.E.M., and calzones fan?”</p>
<p>Leslie blinked at the accidental description of Ben, knowing that it was a bit odd for her to have just asked Patrick those questions. “Not at all,” she answered. </p>
<p>Patrick looked at her with puzzled amusement. “Okay.”</p>
<p>“I was just wondering,” Leslie quickly explained.</p>
<p>Patrick nodded.</p>
<p>They spent the next ten minutes talking about how bad calzones were. Leslie thought that it wasn’t as fun to have this conversation with someone who agreed with her. </p>
<p>Leslie passed up Patrick’s offer for dessert, and he paid the bill. </p>
<p>Patrick walked her to her car and grinned at her when they reached it. “So, when can I see you again?”</p>
<p>Leslie grimaced as subtly as she could. As nice as the date had been, she couldn’t stop looking for traces of Ben in Patrick. She couldn’t fight off the sharp guilt in her stomach every time they shared a laugh. </p>
<p>Ben had been right: she wasn’t in a good place to start seeing someone right now. Leslie hated that he was right. She tried to think of a logical explanation to turn Patrick down, but she came up short. “I don’t know. I had a good time tonight, but I just don’t know if I can.”</p>
<p>Patrick’s smile quickly slipped from his face. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“It’s just not something I’m in a good headspace for, you know?”</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s bullshit. Was it something I did?”</p>
<p>Leslie shuddered at Patrick’s use of profanity. “Really, no. It wasn’t.”</p>
<p>“Was it something someone else did?”</p>
<p>“Patrick, no. It’s just a me thing. But honestly, your attitude isn’t helping you right now.”</p>
<p>Patrick rolled his eyes. “The only thing not helping me right now is you being an asshole with no explanation.”</p>
<p>Leslie gasped and took a step back. “I am not being an asshole! I have every right to not go on another date with you! I actually liked you until around one minute ago when you started acting like a total jerk-face!”</p>
<p>Patrick went silent for a moment before saying, “Okay, sure I’m being a bit of a jerk-face. I cede that point to you, and I’m sorry, but I feel like you kind of owe me an explanation.”</p>
<p>“I don’t owe you anything!”</p>
<p>“You’re right, You’re right. Let me rephrase that. I thought we were kind of hitting it off, and I’m curious as to why you’re not interested in going out again. Is it something temporary? Would you be down to hang out in a couple of weeks when your ‘headspace’ is different? Is there someone else in your life? Is it that guy who was five feet tall and wouldn’t shut up about Jamie Foxx?”</p>
<p>“Tom? What? No! I would never go out with him. Well, actually there was kind of one time, but that was nothing. The point is: it’s complicated, and I don’t want to talk about it. And I don’t have to. And don’t think I’ve forgotten that little outburst of jerk-face-ness just because you cleaned up your act a little bit.”</p>
<p>“Would you really call it an outburst? Because-”</p>
<p>“I would,” Leslie interrupted.</p>
<p>“Shut up. Let me finish.”</p>
<p>Leslie’s eyes widened. “You don’t tell a woman to ‘shut up’! It’s rude and it’s sexist, and what you’re saying isn’t any more important than what I’m saying! So no, I’m not gonna let you finish. You are in fact a jerk-face, and I’m leaving.”</p>
<p>“Fine. Have fun screwing the mustache libertarian.”</p>
<p>Leslie made a face. “That’s disgusting. Also, you’re terrible at guessing.” She opened her car door and began to sit down as she said, “And by the way, you are by far the meanest Canadian I have ever met!”</p>
<p>She slammed the door shut and drove off, cursing at herself for thinking that this date would have the slightest chance of going well.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry this chapter's a bit short. I think the next one is gonna be a little longer though, so there's that.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I Know the End</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks to Sarcastic_Soulmate for once again being a great beta reader.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day after Leslie’s tragic date with Patrick was a Friday. It also happened to be the day of a party. The idea for this party had come out of practically nowhere. Leslie’s campaign advisors reported that she was doing very well in the polls, and it might be good for her to blow off some steam. Tom had caught wind of this and immediately began planning a party. Andy and April joined the planning early on in the process, citing their leftover Halloween supplies as the reason.</p><p>Really, this party was just for the sake of partying. Leslie had mentioned a cause to celebrate, and the remaining highschooler parts of Tom, Andy, and April’s brains had taken over, saying: house party.</p><p>Leslie was excited; she had missed out on Halloween because of her meeting with Pawnee business owners. The only problem was that she assumed Ben would be at the party, given that he lived at the venue.</p><p>Other than budget requests and memos about small projects, they hadn’t been in contact since their argument in Leslie’s office. Leslie was still angry at him for doubting her readiness to get back out there, and she was angrier that he was right. As much as she dreaded it, she figured that there was no better time to talk to him about it than this party.</p><p>//</p><p>At least this time, they had told Ben about the party. When he heard about it, he considered going out for the night to avoid the ruckus, but then it occurred to him that he really didn’t have anywhere to go; all of his friends would be at his house, and he wasn’t interested in sad-drinking alone at some bar. </p><p>So he chose to barricade himself in his room and play chess against the algorithm on his computer. When he told Andy and April about this decision, they quickly objected. </p><p>“No!” April yelled. “You can’t skip two parties at your own house in a row. It’s too lame, even for you.”</p><p>Ben frowned. “You didn’t have to say that.”</p><p>“Well, she’s not wrong,” Andy chimed in. “This is gonna be fun! We’re gonna have beer, and chocolate, and free Knope 2012 pins for everyone because we at least have to pretend this party is for her campaign.”</p><p>“But it’s more for us, and all the bloodthirsty opossum people who just wanna dance!” April added with mock-enthusiasm.</p><p>“I’m not even gonna ask about the opossum thing, but I do want to make sure you’re not going to be bringing any marsupials into the house. Are you?”</p><p>“I’m not making any promises.”</p><p>“Fine. I’m going back to my room, and I won’t be a partygoer tonight.”</p><p>“At least take a pin!” Andy shouted as he chucked one at Ben. Ben caught it by instinct and walked into his room, trying not to slam the door as he closed it behind him. </p><p>Once he was inside the confines of his room, Ben leaned against his door and looked down at the pin in his hand. It was identical to the one he’d given Leslie in his office months ago. He had dozens lying around his house. Everyone in the Parks Department did, and Ben was looped into that group, so of course, he was no exception. </p><p>His eyes followed the curve of the red lines that surrounded Leslie’s last name. He traced the blocky white letters with his hand. This pin and this campaign were the cause of so much anguish for him. He had been at a point where he would’ve done almost anything for her, <br/>and what she’d needed from him was the initiative to end their relationship. To not drag it out even longer so it would’ve been worse when they split, or so it would’ve cost her her dreams.<br/>She couldn’t end it on her own, so Ben took a pin just like the one he was holding and did it for her. He would’ve thought it was the same pin if he didn’t know any better.</p><p>Ben realized how tightly he was gripping the pin when it started to bend slightly. He hit his door with his free hand and took a step away from it before throwing the pin across the room as hard as he could. It was a little childish, but he couldn’t help himself.</p><p>He wanted to hate that pin. He wanted to hate the campaign. But he couldn’t bring himself to hate Leslie’s aspirations, even if they were what separated them. He couldn’t hate Leslie for having dreams that conflicted with their relationship. Her dreams were too important. Too important to her, and too important to the town, maybe the country, and possibly the world. At least, that’s what she would’ve said if she were here. And if she were here, and if she did say that to him, he knew he’d believe her without a second thought.</p><p>He was so lost in his mind that he didn’t hear the first party guests arriving. He knew the house would be getting noisy soon, so he grabbed his headphones and started listening to Pink Floyd as loudly as he could.</p><p>//</p><p>Leslie was late to the party. She had to wrap up some parks business, and by the time she entered the house, the festivities were well underway.  </p><p>She texted Ann, asking where she was. Tom spotted Leslie and jogged over. </p><p>“What’s up, cupcake?” he asked, clearly already a little bit drunk. “Late for your own party?”</p><p>“It’s not really my party,” Leslie replied.</p><p>“You’re right. It’s a Tommy classic. We’ve got alcohol of all kinds right over there, and beer pong in the dining room. The living room, as you can see, is the dopest dance floor in the city.”</p><p>Leslie nodded. “I can see that. Do you know where Ann is?”</p><p>“She’s off somewhere fixing the washing machine with Ron.”</p><p>Leslie raised an eyebrow, wondering if that was somehow a euphemism young people were using now.</p><p>Tom seemed to read her mind. “Not like that. She would never. She’s way too into me.”</p><p>Leslie rolled her eyes and walked away from Tom, making her way over to the laundry room where she found Ron and Ann hacking into the machinery of the washing machine.</p><p>Ann immediately spotted her and stood up, grabbing her by the arms. “Oh my god, Leslie, this is crazy. There are leaves and tinfoil in their washing machine. And a lot of gummy worms for some reason.”</p><p>Leslie was a bit taken aback by that. “Why are you fixing a washing machine? And why’s all that stuff stuck in there?”</p><p>“Well the stuff is all stuck in there because Andy and April are insane, and I’m fixing a washing machine because it’s actually kind of fun. At the Halloween party, Ron and I fixed the sink and the death wire in the shower. It was a huge safety hazard. And now we’re getting to the rest of the house.”</p><p>“The death wire?” Leslie questioned.</p><p>“Yeah. Andy and April’s shower had an exposed wire hanging out of the ceiling. Andy was weirdly okay with it.”</p><p>“I can’t believe you two ever dated.”</p><p>Ron cleared his throat. “Ann, I need your small hands over here,” he said as he pointed to something on the washing machine.</p><p>As Ann went over to Ron, Leslie said, “Well, I guess I’ll just leave you to it. Ann, come find me whenever you’re done.”</p><p>Leslie wandered back into the living room. Tom was talking to Patrick, who gave a small wave as she walked by. Jean-Ralphio was sprawled out on a couch, chatting with Donna. Jerry was asleep next to them, and April was drawing something on his face. Chris and Andy were dancing energetically and badly. They were joined by a combination of semi-familiar people and complete strangers. The music was some rap song Leslie had never heard before.</p><p>Ben was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>//</p><p>Sitting alone in his room, Ben was just about to win his game of chess against the computer when his phone buzzed. </p><p>He picked it up and saw a text from Leslie: Are you here?</p><p>He considered lying, but then he realized he wanted to talk to her. About their argument, or anything really. As irrational as it was, he craved to talk to her even if it hurt him more in the long run.</p><p>He put away his laptop and opened the door to his room. He was immediately struck by the deafening but not entirely unpleasant sound of what he assumed was Jay-Z’s music.</p><p>He found Leslie in the kitchen grabbing a beer out of the fridge. He walked over and grabbed one for himself. </p><p>“Where’s Ann?” he asked, getting her attention.</p><p>“She’s off fixing stuff with Ron.”</p><p>“Ah. They better do something about the washing machine. The water looks and smells like it came from a swamp. I’ve been going to a laundry place for like three weeks.”</p><p>“You have terrible taste in roommates.”</p><p>“Can’t argue with that. Do you want to go somewhere a little quieter so we can talk?”</p><p>“Sure. Where to?”</p><p>Ben looked around. His eye landed on the sliding glass door that led to the backyard. “Back porch?”</p><p>“Alright,” Leslie answered as they started to walk in that direction.</p><p>The porch wasn’t empty, but it was very sparsely populated. There were maybe four other people out there, and they were all gathered in one corner. Leslie and Ben sat on the stairs that led to the poorly-tended-to back yard. </p><p>Leslie looked up at the stars for a moment before turning her attention to Ben. “So what did you want to talk about?” </p><p>“Well first, I wanted to ask you how it went with Patrick.”</p><p>Leslie clicked her tongue and shook her head in mock-disappointment. “So you just wanted to gossip, huh?”</p><p>Ben laughed. “Kind of, I guess. Did it go well? Does he have an amphibian collection or something weird?”</p><p>“No amphibian collection. But it still didn’t go that well.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Ben said even though he knew he didn’t mean it. “What happened?”</p><p>“You know how I’m bad at first dates and they all kind of go horribly?”</p><p>“I believe you’ve mentioned it.”</p><p>“Kind of that. Like, he didn’t do anything really weird. He was just kind of… jerkish.”</p><p>“He didn’t seem that bad when I met him. What was jerkish Patrick like?”</p><p>“I’ll tell you, but only if you promise not to gloat.”</p><p>“I would never dream of gloating.”</p><p>Leslie rolled her eyes. “Of course not. Anyway, the date was actually going pretty well, but then he asked about a second date, and I was like, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’ and then he was like, ‘you suck’ and that’s basically how it went,” she said quickly, doing voices for both herself and Patrick.</p><p>“I like that you just did a different voice for yourself,” Ben quipped with a smirk. </p><p>Leslie lightly punched him. “How else would you know that that was me last night talking rather than me right now talking?”</p><p>“Fair enough,” Ben answered before taking a sip of his beer. After a moment of silence, he continued, “Patrick does sound kind of jerkish. Where does the thing you thought I would gloat about come in?”</p><p>“Well the reason I turned Patrick down for a second date was that you were right. About me not being in a good place to date someone or whatever. So, I’m sorry about that whole argument.”</p><p>“First off, I told you so. And second, if anyone should be apologizing for that argument, it’s me. Even if I was completely right, I had no business saying anything, and I definitely shouldn’t have gotten mad at you. So, I’m sorry.”</p><p>Leslie smiled. “Thank you. And what did I tell you about gloating?”</p><p>“You told me not to do it,” Ben answered with a grin.</p><p>“That’s what I thought.” Leslie sipped her beer. “Did you go out with Tweep?”</p><p>Ben went silent for a moment before answering, “No. I’m not sure why you keep assuming I would.”</p><p>“Well, you did mention her.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I was just being a dick.”</p><p>“That doesn’t surprise me,” Leslie said sarcastically. </p><p>“It shouldn’t; I’ll admit that I’ve been a little dickish recently. Sorry about that. And when I told you that you weren’t in a place to date anyone, I was just projecting. So, sorry about that too.”</p><p>“Wow, I’m getting a lot of apologies out of you tonight. Are there any bonus apologies you want to throw out there?” Leslie asked with a smile.</p><p>Ben thought for a moment. “I stole a Jolly Rancher from your nightstand one time. So I’m sorry about that, but I’m also curious as to why you had that on your nightstand.”</p><p>“For eating. You could’ve guessed that.”</p><p>“That’s definitely true.” They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Ben asked, “Do you want to go back inside? It’s kind of cold out here.”</p><p>“Sure,” Leslie answered as she stood up. </p><p>When they got inside the house, Ben glanced around the living room before looking back at Leslie. “Wanna do something about this music?”</p><p>Leslie listened to the music for a moment as she raised one eyebrow. “What? Like, change it? Can we do that?”</p><p>“Well, I live here, and this party is in your honor, so I think no one can stop us if we change the music,” Ben said.</p><p>Leslie nodded. “What would you want to change it to.”</p><p>“I’m not sure. Maybe some R.E.M.?”</p><p>“I’m sorry Ben, but I don’t think this is the time for R.E.M.”</p><p>“It’s always the time for R.E.M.,” Ben responded as he gestured with his beer.</p><p>“That’s just not true.”</p><p>“Fine, how about Talking Heads?”</p><p>Leslie squinted, seriously considering it. “I don’t know.”</p><p>“Well, what would you suggest? Sarah McLachlan? Is now the time for Sarah McLachlan? Or Lilith Fair?”</p><p>“Okay fine, play Talking Heads,” she replied as she rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Thank you. This crowd’ll love it,” he told a skeptical Leslie as he wandered over to the speaker.</p><p>He didn’t even get the opportunity to press one button when Tom appeared in his line of sight, followed by Jean-Ralphio. “Woah woah woah. Are you messing with the playlist?” Tom asked incredulously.</p><p>“I mean, we were just kinda thinking that since I live here and-”</p><p>“Well don’t think that! I’m sure that whatever you want to play is some nerd song that’s definitely not a banger. Also, we?” Tom asked as he spun around to face Leslie. “You knew about this?”</p><p>“Oh no, I am absolutely not a part of this,” Leslie said as she laughed.</p><p>“Is J-Shot bothering you, Knope?” Jean-Ralphio chimed in.</p><p>“What?” Ben yelped. “No. We were just talking.”  </p><p>“Sorry man, I’ll stay out of your way.”</p><p>“No, it’s not like that,” Ben affirmed as he waved his hand and ignored the red tint his face was taking on.</p><p>Leslie couldn’t help but wonder if it was “like that”, but she quickly waved the thought aside.</p><p>“Oh. Sweet.” Jean-Ralphio slipped around a corner and reappeared seconds later holding a drink of some kind in his hand. “Rémy Martin?” he asked Leslie.</p><p>“No thanks,” Leslie answered. She frowned up at Jean-Ralphio, uncomfortable in his presence. As she turned to walk away, she announced “I’m gonna go find Ann.”</p><p>Ben, now alone with Tom and Jean-Ralphio watched as Tom asked, “Where’d you even get that? No one brought Rémy Martin.”</p><p>Jean-Ralphio ignored the question and began energetically pitching some sort of business venture. Ben stood by them idly, finishing his beer and reaching for a new one.</p><p>Ben had almost finished his third beer when Tom and Jean-Ralphio turned towards him expectantly. “So what do you think J-Shot? Is it gonna work?”</p><p>Ben didn’t even have to ask what they had been talking about to know the answer. “It’s probably not financially viable.”</p><p>Tom pressed further. “Which part?” </p><p>Unenthusiastic and unable to reply, Ben wordlessly wandered over to the couch closest to the dance floor, successfully ignoring Tom and Jean-Ralphio. They would probably be annoyed at him for walking away from them mid-conversation, but what were they going to do about it?</p><p>He took the final sip of his beer as he spotted Leslie, Ann, April, and Andy dancing just a few feet away from him. Leslie spotted him too. “Hey, Ben!” she shouted. “How are you?”</p><p>Ben thought for a moment. “Uh, tipsy.”</p><p>“Me too! Come dance!”</p><p>“Not that tipsy,” he declined.</p><p>Leslie frowned briefly before turning back to the others.</p><p>//</p><p>Ben wasn’t sure how long or how intently he’d been watching Leslie dance, but at some point, Ann had disappeared somewhere.</p><p>“Ben, come dance!” Leslie requested once again.</p><p>Ben considered it. “I don’t know.”</p><p>“Please? Ann went to Home Depot with Ron and now I’m stuck with this,” she said as she gestured to her left where April and Andy were making out.</p><p>“Alright,” he answered as he stood up. “But only if we go very far away from them very quickly.”</p><p>Leslie nodded. “Good call.” She led him to the other side of the room where Chris, Donna, and Tom seemed to be starting a dance circle. They joined it, and danced for a while, making sure to keep some distance between them, chatting about whatever casual topics came to mind.</p><p>After around twenty minutes, Ben stopped dancing rather abruptly. “I really suck at dancing,” he stated. “Would you like to go sit somewhere that isn’t surrounded by drunk people and… whatever Chris is doing?”</p><p>Leslie looked at the seizure-esque dance moves that Chris was utilizing and nodded quickly, following Ben, but hesitating for a moment when he stepped into his bedroom. It wouldn’t be a good idea to follow him in there, would it? Nothing bad could come of it as long as she was careful. If she wasn’t careful… then she only knew of a few ways this would end, and none of them could happen. So she promised herself to be careful, and she walked into the room, letting the door slowly swing closed behind her. </p><p>“What’s up?” she wondered out loud.</p><p>“Two things actually,” Ben answered. “One: we are not going to give you that budget increase for bench upgrades, whatever those are, and-”</p><p>“Ben! Bench upgrades are integral to the stability of this town.”</p><p>Ben tilted his head. “Are they though?”</p><p>Leslie bit her lip, thinking intensely before seeming to give up. “Maybe not integral, but still.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Fine. So, what was the second thing you were gonna say?” Leslie asked as she sat next to Ben on the foot of his bed.</p><p>“Well, It’s a question. I was wondering about something you said when we had that argument.”</p><p>“The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother? We’ve been over that. I’m sorry about that and I didn’t mean it.”</p><p>“No no. This was a different argument. You said, ‘You’re not a part of my life. You’ve made that clear.’ I was just wondering where we stood on that.”</p><p>Leslie frowned and looked down at her hands. “I was mad at you when I said that. And I remembered the model UN argument, so I assumed that’s what you wanted. So the better person to ask this would be you. Friends?”</p><p>Ben tilted his head in a way that told Leslie he wasn’t sure. “Pals?” she asked. </p><p>“Is that different from friends?”</p><p>“Could we not be described as pals?”</p><p>“We could. Pals it is,” Ben said with a smirk.</p><p>Leslie nodded and glanced around the room. Her eyes flicked to something above Ben’s desk: two pictures on the corkboard that appeared to be of the two of them standing together at the Harvest Festival. </p><p>She squinted to make sure that she was seeing correctly, and was taken aback when she realized she was in fact seeing herself and Ben standing proudly on the grounds of their project.<br/>He’d had them there when they were dating, and she’d just assumed that he would’ve taken them down. But he hadn’t. Why? To brood? To reminisce?</p><p>Sure, she had pictures of Ben in her house; he had made appearances in several of her scrapbooks. He was featured rather prominently in the Harvest Festival one, he was definitely in the one from Li’l Sebastian’s funeral, and he could be seen wearing sunglasses and a subtle smile in the background of quite a few photos from Freddie Spaghetti’s concert. But she didn’t have any pictures of him right above her desk. She had taken them down right after they had broken up in a futile attempt to grant herself some peace of mind.</p><p>Ben followed her gaze to the picture. “Uhhh,” he mumbled as he blushed. “I just like those pictures. It was a good project. You know?”</p><p>“Yeah. It was a great project.” She wondered whether or not pals usually had pictures of each other on display in their rooms for a moment. She decided that they didn’t. Maybe friends did, but that was decidedly not what they were. “Do you regret it?” she asked abruptly. “Us? Dating?”</p><p>“Not in the slightest,” Ben answered quickly. “Why? Do you?”  </p><p>“Well I miss being friends rather than ‘pals’, but no, I don’t. I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times I wished we could undo everything and go back to being friends. And I sometimes wonder if it was worth it.” She looked right at him. “But I think it was. I just wish that we’d had more time because it was gone just like that, you know? So it might’ve been better if it just hadn’t happened,” she said, her voice making her statement sound like a question.</p><p>Ben turned his head to face her directly, which made her realize how close together they were sitting. She didn’t move away. “It was definitely worth it,” he said in a voice that wasn’t quite a whisper. </p><p>She wasn’t quite sure if they had inched closer to each other, but the next time he spoke, she could feel his breath. “I wouldn’t undo it,” he said. His breath smelled vaguely of beer. “In fact, I would redo it. I would go back and do it again. And I’d do it without a second thought, and I wouldn’t do anything differently.”</p><p>She looked at him intently. “I should go,” she said in that same not-quite-a-whisper voice. </p><p>“You don’t have to.”</p><p>“I’m gonna go.” She didn’t move an inch.</p><p>“Okay,” he answered. She still wasn’t moving. And neither was he. They were just staring at each other, seeing if one of them would do something, if they would throw every professional goal away. Waiting to see if one of them was willing to risk it. Waiting to see if either of them thought it was a risk worth taking. </p><p>After a few seconds, Ben asked. “So, are you gonna leave?”</p><p>“Yep, doing that right now,” she said, still sitting there.</p><p>“You know, you really don’t have to if you don’t want to.”</p><p>“But I should. We both know what’ll happen if I stay,” Leslie responded, finally coming to her senses. </p><p>He nodded. He’d kiss her, or she’d kiss him, they’d wake up together the next morning. And then she’d have a choice to make: risk her campaign or leave Ben yet again. Leaving him once was hard enough; she didn’t know if she had it in her to do it again. But the choice would be inevitable, that is, if she stayed.</p><p>So she didn’t.</p><p>She stood up, tearing her gaze away from him. She walked away, leaving his room and closing his door. And when he finally regained the ability to move, she was nowhere to be found amongst the partygoers. She’d left. She was gone just like that, and now he was going to drink a lot more beer. Alone. And that was for the best.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter kinda took a long time to post. Sorry about that. The next one shouldn't take as long.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Isn't it Funny How We Forget?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben woke up the next morning with one of the worst headaches he’d ever had in his entire life. He was extremely hungover, which was unsurprising, given that he’d had around seven beers last night. As hungover as he was, he remembered everything that had happened before Leslie left with perfect detail. Her face had been inches from his. And he was extremely close kissing her. Extremely close to doing what would’ve been the equivalent of punching her campaign in the face. Way too close. And deep down, he really did know exactly what he was doing. Talking to her all night, sitting with her in his room. Part of him just wanted her back, despite the consequences for both of their careers. And he was starting to realize just how prominent that part of him was.</p><p>That part of him seemed to think that there was a chance that they would actually be together again. And that part of him was incredibly stupid and hard to get rid of.</p><p>It was a Saturday, a day he had recently come to dislike. The weekend gave him no meetings or work to distract himself with. It was just two days to wonder if she remembered him as vividly as he remembered her. Two days to think that he heard her whisper when in reality there was only silence. Two days to see her in the doorways of his home only to remember she hadn’t been there for months.</p><p>And come Monday, maybe he’d finally have the strength to tear himself away from her, leaving himself only a memory from their time together which he’d carry with him as long as he could. Maybe he’d finally be able to leave her be so she could have the campaign she deserved.</p><p>When Monday did come around, he told himself, again and again, to do just that until he was sure his brain had gotten the memo.</p><p>//</p><p>Leslie woke up on Saturday morning as she did most days: sleepily reaching for someone who wasn’t there and never would be again.</p><p>She remembered how close she’d been to throwing her campaign away the previous night. As tempted as she had been, she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t throw away her childhood dreams for some guy, could she? No matter how much she liked said guy, her career was on the line.</p><p>What had happened--rather, what had almost happened--was a mistake. She couldn’t go around getting that close to him, at least not in that way. When she finally moved past her feelings for him, they could be friends and have a healthy professional relationship.</p><p>It was high time for her to move on, but it still scared her. One day, she’d be somewhere different--hopefully, the white house--and Ben Wyatt would be nothing more than a distant memory. Or maybe she’d forget him entirely. She knew it was only a matter of time until she forgot the way he murmured unintelligible numbers and words in his sleep. Only a matter of time until she forgot the way he sat up straight when they were watching C-SPAN like it was an action movie rather than a vote in the House of Representatives. Only a matter of time until she forgot the way he’d kissed her like he had nothing better to do and nowhere else to be.</p><p>In a matter of time, he would slip from her mind, and one day, he wouldn’t be a part of her life. Unless she managed to salvage their friendship, and since a friend was better than a stranger, she set her mind to doing just that. Of course, that didn’t mean it would be easy.</p><p>//</p><p>They didn’t talk for a long time after that party. At least, it was a long time for them. Sure, Leslie wanted to be friends, but she also wanted some time. Time to consider the decision to be friends, and time to hold onto her memories for just a little bit longer, before she absolutely had to let them go.</p><p>So, they went without talking for almost a week. It wasn’t until Friday that they spoke to each other, but even that was just in a meeting with Chris.</p><p>On the following Wednesday, Leslie decided that it was finally time to be adults and have a conversation. She found him at the table in the corner of the courtyard eating some kind of soup and sat across from him at the table.</p><p>He greeted her without much enthusiasm and went back to his soup when she didn’t say anything other than ‘Hi’.</p><p>She sat in the awkward silence for a moment, steeling herself to bring up the events of the party. “So,” she muttered. “Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“About what?” Ben replied, feigning ignorance as he stared down at the table.</p><p>“Well, at the party…” Leslie trailed off.</p><p>Ben sighed “Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”</p><p>“I disagree. We almost-”</p><p>“But we didn’t,” Ben said, cutting Leslie off and sounding awfully bitter.</p><p>“Yes, but I think we should at least acknowledge it. As friends, I think we should be honest with each other.”</p><p>“Not friends, pals, remember?” Ben corrected, his volume rising ever so slightly. “By the way, I don’t think there’s any kind of difference between those words. The jury’s still out on ‘pals’, but the jury said no to ‘friends’ awhile ago. And quite frankly, the jury wishes you would just remember that and accept it! The jury has to draw a line somewhere.”</p><p>Leslie went silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. They weren’t friends, they weren’t pals. Was this it? Was he leaving her life already? So soon? She refused to accept this. “Buddies?” she asked.</p><p>Ben stood up, and now he was gesturing sternly with his hands, almost fully yelling. “Buddy? Really? That is once again a synonym of ‘friend’! Leslie, you’re still asking me to be your friend, and I’ve told you I can’t do that! How long is it gonna take you to accept that? You remember what happened. I was about to kiss you, and I don’t think that’s something that buddies do! I don’t trust myself not to do or say something I shouldn’t here! So I think it’s best if we forget the ‘friends’, ‘pals’, and ‘buddies’ and just go with ‘coworkers’! Let’s just forget it! And forget that night at the party too. Not like there’s much to remember.”</p><p>He stomped across the courtyard and threw away the cardboard container that previously housed his soup. That seemed to calm him down a bit because the next time he spoke, it was quietly. So quietly that Leslie had to strain to hear his mumbles. “I’ll see you the next time you have a budget request. And that doesn’t mean the next time you want to force a friendship on me.”</p><p>And with that, he swung the door that led to the Parks Department open and disappeared inside, leaving Leslie alone in the courtyard, staring wordlessly at the stone table.</p><p>Going through the Parks Department was intended to be a shortcut for Ben to get back to his office. He wasn’t planning on stopping for a chat with someone, but when he saw Ron glowering at him through the window of his office door, he changed his mind.</p><p>Ben walked straight into the office, opening and closing the door more firmly than was necessary. “What?” he asked bitterly.</p><p>“Did I tell you to come in here, son?”</p><p>“No, but I assumed you had something to say based on the fact that you were pouting at me.”</p><p>“Firstly, that was a scowl, not a pout,” Ron replied sternly. “And secondly, there are a lot of things I could say, but what I will say is that that,” he said, gesturing out at the courtyard, “is even less subtle than what you two had going on before. Everyone can see you arguing. Everyone can see that you’re on bad terms. And soon, somebody’s going to wonder about that. You know what happens then, Ben?”</p><p>Ben sighed “What?”</p><p>“You both get fired, and then there are no overachieving tightasses to do all the work, and I have to do work.”</p><p>“That’s all this is about? You’re concerned for us because you don’t want to do work? No other reason?”</p><p>“Are you suggesting that I care about either one of you? Because I don’t,” Ron said rather unconvincingly. At least, Ben was unconvinced that Ron didn’t care about Leslie. He knew Ron didn’t care that much about him.</p><p>Ben nodded and pulled open the door that led out into the hallway. He didn’t go through it though, he just stood there, looking at Ron expectantly.</p><p>Ron raised an eyebrow. “If you were looking for fatherly advice of some kind, you came at the wrong time.”</p><p>“Got it.” Ben closed the door behind him before popping his head back into the office sheepishly. “Just curious: what is the right time?”</p><p>A hint of a grin appeared on Ron’s face as he held his mug up for a sip of coffee. “Never.”</p><p>//</p><p>Some time after Ben stormed off, Leslie still silently sat in the courtyard. They had eaten lunch together at this exact table so many times. It had been all smiles and secret hand-holding. Now it was one argument after another. It was the abandoning of a friendship, and Leslie would just have to accept it, even if a part of her wished they could go back to what they had before. How hard could it possibly be to hold hands under that table again? How hard could it be to go back to secrecy?</p><p><em>Too hard. Not worth the risk.</em> Leslie thought to herself as she shook her head.</p><p>“Hey, Leslie,” someone said. She looked up to see Ann. Of course it was Ann. Being the luminous sea otter that she was, she always happened to show up at the perfect time, right when she needed someone to talk to.</p><p>“What’s up? You’ve been sitting out here doing nothing for like ten minutes.”</p><p>Leslie just groaned in response.</p><p>“Wanna talk about it?” Ann asked.</p><p>//</p><p>Ann rushed into the assistant city manager’s office, where she found Ben sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. When he didn’t look up at her upon her entrance, she clapped once. “Look at me, Wyatt.”</p><p>His head snapped up, revealing two puffy, bloodshot eyes and a miserable frown. “What is it now?”</p><p>“You’ve gotta stop getting into those loud arguments with her, man.”</p><p>“This is about Leslie?”</p><p>“No, it’s about Betty White,” Ann said sarcastically. “Of course it’s about Leslie! She’s the one you were yelling at forty-five minutes ago. I get that she can be difficult sometimes. I really do. But your conversation to argument ratio with her is like three out of five at this point, and I’m her best friend, so I can’t not say anything now.”</p><p>“Well, what else do you want me to do?”</p><p>“Literally anything that isn’t an explosive argument. It’s too much.”</p><p>Ben sighed. “Now you’re gonna force me to be friends with her too?”</p><p>“No one’s forcing you to do anything,” Ann responded, rolling her eyes.</p><p>“Well, what would you call it?” Ben shot back.</p><p>She thought for a moment and sat down across the desk from Ben. ”Negotiating. She’s negotiating for any part of you she can get. You said she could have your friendship, then you changed your mind. So it might take her a minute to come to terms with that. Is that so bad?”</p><p>“I guess you’ve got a point there. But for the record, I did not say we were friends, I said we were pals.”</p><p>Ann scrunched up her face a little, giving him a confused look. “Those are the same thing.”</p><p>“That’s what I said,” he agreed.</p><p>Ann wasn’t sure what to say next, so she just said what popped into her head. “So, were you crying when I walked in here?” She caught herself. “Sorry.”</p><p>Ben let out a self-deprecating chuckle. “Uh, yes. Is that really lame?”</p><p>“No. I cried when Chris dumped me. Or I guess when I realized he dumped me.”</p><p>Ben nodded. “Yeah. I guess that was kind of different though. You know? Leslie and I didn’t break up because of anything with us.”</p><p>Ann gave him a dead-eyed stare. “Is that a brag or something? Really? What is this?”</p><p>“No, no,” he answered frantically. “It’s just that Leslie and I broke up because of bureaucracy. Of all things. Some rule. I guess ethically the rule makes sense, but it still sucks.” He looked down at his desk in defeat.</p><p>“Yeah.” The room was silent for a few seconds before she absentmindedly said “You know, I kinda thought you guys were just gonna keep sneaking around.”</p><p>Ben’s head shot back up. “Yeah, I...” He trailed off. “I mean, there’s a reason we didn’t do that. It would’ve been hard, and the stakes would’ve been so high. But...” He trailed off once again. The stakes would certainly have been high, but were they too high?</p><p>As slowly as he was speaking, his mind was racing. Of course, continuing to sneak around had occurred to him before, but he’d brushed the thought aside as if it was a clump of dust. He knew breaking things off was the best way to protect Leslie’s campaign, so he’d done just that. But if someone else thought they could sneak around, it meant the idea wasn’t entirely crazy. Didn’t it?</p><p>“Ben.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You were saying something,” Ann reminded him.</p><p>“Oh. It’s nothing. And I got the whole ‘no more arguments’ thing, so I should probably get back to work.”</p><p>Ann nodded skeptically and left, leaving Ben to stare at his computer screen trying to work. But he was struggling with that because he was too busy pushing aside the utterly foolish idea of trying to sneak around again. And as he went through his day, the thought refused to stop poking at his brain, demanding his attention. Even when he managed to bring his work to the forefront of his mind, the idea lingered, unwilling to disappear. He’d have to forget about it before it caused any damage.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Don't Think it Over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks to Sarcastic_Soulmate for being an awesome beta reader.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The branches of the trees seemed to hang lower now. That was the first thing Leslie noticed as she walked through Lafayette Park.</p><p>It was a Saturday, a few days after Ben had decided to stop pretending that they had any kind of friendship that extended past work, so naturally, everything felt a little gloomier to Leslie. It was cold out, the grass was dying in the late November weather, and the aforementioned lower-hanging tree branches were void of all life. The only birds in sight were the ones that occasionally flew by in groups, a cloud of dark shapes quickly moving through the foggy sky.</p><p>This was Leslie’s least favorite kind of weather. It managed to make parks cheerless patches of dirt and trees. Or maybe it was just Leslie’s mood that was doing that. Either way, she didn’t like it. But she went on this walk in this park nevertheless. It was how she soothed her mind and managed to calm down.</p><p>A bright shape moving almost inhumanly quickly down the path towards her disrupted the dull afternoon. It was a man. He sprinted as if there was a fleet of supercars with rocket launchers chasing him. It was a very alarming thing to see; the sight would’ve made most people think there was something to run from or towards, but Leslie knew better.</p><p>The man came to an abrupt stop right in front of her. “Leslie Knope!” he happily exclaimed.</p><p>“Chris Traeger,” Leslie said unenthusiastically. She did not want to deal with his incessant cheeriness and rule-enforcing presence today, but here she was.</p><p>Not even bothering to engage in small talk, Chris said, “I’ve noticed you and Ben haven’t been working together on many projects these days, which is a shame because you are literally the most productive government employees I have ever met in my entire life. Is there a reason for that? Are you planning some kind of project for the future?”</p><p>“Well, we aren’t currently doing any projects that need more from Ben than just his approval on the budget,” Leslie answered. And though it wasn’t the full truth, it was far from a lie. Ben had shot down any project ideas that would require him to spend a lot of time with Leslie.</p><p>“That’s too bad,” Chris said with a frown. His face lit back up. “Don’t you just love this weather? I think it’s great. It is literally my fourth favorite weather. I just had to go on a run because of it. How about you?”</p><p>“Oh, I was just going on a walk. Getting some fresh air, clearing my mind. The campaign’s been pretty stressful, but we’re beating Newport in the polls somehow.”</p><p>“Well, good luck with that. Anyway, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to run another six miles.”</p><p>He started running. “See you on Monday!” he called as he took off.</p><p>Leslie sighed. <em>How is he the guy who’s ruining my life right now?</em> she asked herself.</p><p>How could someone so oblivious be such a threat to her? Did he have to be such a threat? Leslie realized that he might not have to be. How would he know if Leslie spent her evenings with Ben and came to work the next day like nothing untoward was going on? They’d done it once before, although they’d been caught by more than one person. But they could be more careful if they really wanted to.</p><p>They could be sneaky, break the ethical rules of their government, and lie at every turn, couldn’t they? All of that was worth it to Leslie. The question was whether or not it was worth it to Ben, but she didn’t know if that was a question she could ask him.</p><p>They’d ended things between them because of her campaign. He should’ve hated her the moment they broke up. He should’ve thought that she’d just tossed him aside when something better came along. But he didn't. He supported her fervently. It was more than she deserved.</p><p>He didn’t hate her then, but he must’ve hated her now. She’d forced him into a friendship he didn’t want and refused to just let him go. But how could she let him go if it felt so right to hold him close to her? There was something that drew her to him, and she just couldn't escape it.</p><p>What drew her to him must have been strong because she finally resolved to stop sulking around and ask him for a half-assed relationship. Anything was better than nothing.</p><p>//</p><p>It was 4:45 on a Friday when she nervously stepped into Ben’s office. She wasn’t sure how to ask him this. She didn’t know where to start, and she never knew when to stop.</p><p>He looked up from his desk, and she saw something on his face that she hadn’t seen for a while. It wasn’t dread or anger like it usually was; it was something hopeful, something caring. “Hi, Leslie.”</p><p>“Hi,” she said quickly. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to talk to right now, but I have something to say.”</p><p>He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh. Well, I actually wanted to tell you something.”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>He looked around his office. “You know what? This might not be the best place for it. But I’m gonna be done for the day in like 15 minutes, so how about Ramsett Park at 5:30?”</p><p>“Okay,” she replied, already trying to guess what it was that he wanted to say. He could be telling her he was going to spend less time with the Parks Department. He could be telling her he was leaving Pawnee. She knew he could be telling her anything, but she didn’t allow herself to hope it would be anything good.</p><p>“So what were you gonna tell me?” he asked, bringing her out of her racing mind.</p><p>“Oh, I’m not telling you until you say your thing, so you’ll find out in roughly 45 minutes.”</p><p>“Sounds like a plan,” he said with a hint of a grin.</p><p>Leslie started to leave his office before facing him once more. “Hang on where in Ramsett Park? It’s kinda too big to just say ‘Ramsett Park’.”</p><p>“On the west side. With the hill near the pond and the tree and the bench and the sky.”</p><p>“It’s outside, Ben. There’s the sky everywhere.”</p><p>“Yeah, but that particular sky is nice.”</p><p>And with that, she nodded and left his office.</p><p>//</p><p>Ben really did love the sky in that one spot. As he sat on the bench in the chilly, early December air, he looked up at it. The sun was starting to set, replacing the pastel blue of the sky. And that was why he loved this sky so much. The golden-yellow light on the clouds reminded him of the blonde hair that he’d once run his fingers through so gently, feeling for once that he was exactly where he was meant to be.</p><p>And now he looked down from the sky to see Leslie approaching him, a look of apprehension on her face.</p><p>He jumped to his feet anxiously. “Hi.”</p><p>“Hi. I’m kind of nervous to hear what you want to say to me, so let’s just skip the small talk if that’s okay with you.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s okay. I love skipping small talk. Small talk is so annoying, right?”</p><p>“Are you seriously small talking about small talk right now?” Leslie questioned. “Can you say what you wanted to say? I’ll say my thing after.”</p><p>“Yep. Sorry.” Ben nodded, preparing himself before he spoke very quickly. “Okay. So, I was talking to Ann the other day and she was mad at me for being a dick or something. Then, she said that when you first started your campaign, she thought we were just gonna keep sneaking around. And it got me thinking and maybe ignoring all rationality, and I thought to myself ‘Huh. That’s possible.’ Anyways, I know it’s really shitty of me to even ask, but I think we could do that If we really wanted to. And I do really want to. We don’t have to sneak around permanently; we’ll figure something else out. But right now, I just want to be with you. Even if it’s not a real relationship. Even if I can only see you once a week. Honestly, you can give me anything, and I’ll take it and I’ll treasure it, no matter how little it is.”</p><p>He took a deep breath. “That’s all. That’s what I wanted to say.” He looked at her face. She looked a bit confused, but a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. She still wasn’t saying anything. “What do you think?” he prompted.</p><p>“That’s what I was gonna say!” she shouted excitedly.</p><p>Ben was taken aback. He wasn’t expecting her to go along with his idea, much less have the idea herself. “So I guess we’ve solved it?”</p><p>”Yeah. Did you somehow know what I was going to say? Is this some sort of Matrix situation?”</p><p>“That’s not what the Matrix is,” he corrected.</p><p>“Ben, I’m not very concerned about the Matrix right now,” she said as she stepped towards him, reaching for his face.</p><p>He was going to protest, maybe give a quick crash course on the Matrix, but he forgot all about that because then, after months, his lips were finally back on hers, where they belonged.</p><p>It was a long kiss. It could’ve been minutes or hours. Ben really didn’t know. And when they pulled away, he held onto her waist, staring at her unapologetically.</p><p>“Why are you looking at me like that?” Leslie asked.</p><p>“Am I looking at you weirdly?”</p><p>“You’re looking at me like I just grew a third nostril.”</p><p>He laughed. He hadn’t thought the way he was looking at her was strange. He was just looking at her because she had changed since the last time he'd seen her in his arms. Since he’d seen her so up close. Her hair was a little longer, a little straighter. It framed her face differently now. Her face itself seemed the tiniest bit different, although he couldn’t describe it if he tried. So he was committing her to memory once again. He couldn’t have an outdated image of her in his mind if she left him again. That just wouldn’t do. He was looking at her as if it were the last time she’d ever be this close to him again. Of course, he didn’t tell her all this, instead responding with, “Oh yeah. That’s what it is. Thanks for telling me. It was really bugging me.”</p><p>“Oh, shut up,” she said before kissing him again.</p><p>When she pulled away, he said, “But seriously, aside from the third nostril thing, I was just looking at you because there’s nothing else I’d rather look at. And I like looking at your eyes.”</p><p>She grinned. “You’re nice to look at too, Wyatt.”</p><p>Soon, Ben was sitting on the bench again, and now he had Leslie in his lap and kissing him.</p><p>“We should probably not make out on this bench,” Leslie stated between kisses.</p><p>“You started it,” he laughed.</p><p>“I did, but that was your fault. And you’re making me want to do it again and this isn’t the place, so stop it.”</p><p>“Fine. I’ll stop being so handsome and charming. Your house is nearby. Let’s just go there. Then I’ll be handsome and charming again.”</p><p>“Is that why you picked this place to meet? Because of the proximity to my house?” she questioned as she stood up.</p><p>“It may or may not be part of it.”</p><p>//</p><p>Leslie was still awake when Ben fell asleep at around midnight. She was normally awake at this time, but that was usually because she was anxious. She’d be working on something with no plans to go to sleep anytime soon. Now she felt the hands of sleep reaching for her, but she brushed them off and looked at Ben. She hadn’t been lying when she’d told him he was nice to look at.</p><p>At that moment, she should’ve been worried. They hadn’t talked about how they were planning on moving forward with this, or how they could be better at being sneaky. They had decided to put that conversation off until the morning. But she wasn’t worried. How could she be worried about any of that when Ben was holding onto her as if he was scared he’d drop her? His embrace was very comfortable. It was an embrace she never wanted to leave, even if it was a bit warm.</p><p>She didn’t stay awake for much longer; eventually, Ben’s relaxing presence lulled her to sleep, her drowsiness taking over as Ben snored softly beside her.</p><p>//</p><p>Ben woke up groggily as the sun rose. Leslie stirred beside him. By some miracle, she was still asleep. But not for long. She opened her eyes when Ben leaned over to brush the hair out of her face.</p><p>“Hi,” Ben said.</p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>Ben wrapped an arm around Leslie, pressed a light kiss to her shoulder, and closed his eyes. He wasn’t asleep, just resting in the easy silence of the early morning.</p><p>“You know, I haven’t slept for that many consecutive hours in a really long time,” Leslie said softly.</p><p>“Seven hours? That’s the longest you’ve slept recently? Leslie, you really need to sleep more. It’s great.”</p><p>“I personally am partial to being awake. Speaking of being awake, we need to come up with a plan for being sneaky and maybe a plan to eventually not be in a situation where we have to be sneaky.”</p><p>“Well, the sneaky part is pretty easy. We just don’t tell anybody, and I won’t butt-dial Ron when we’re roleplaying as Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher.”</p><p>“Oh my god. Don’t remind me about that. And speaking of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, maybe next time we pick people with better economic policies. And better legacies in the Middle East and Central America,” she suggested as she propped herself up on her elbow to face him.</p><p>“What, you don’t think the Iran-Contra affair is sexy?”</p><p>She snorted. “Definitely not.”</p><p>“Fair enough. What are we going to do about Andy and April? Do you think they’ll notice me being gone a lot?”</p><p>“Did they notice before?”</p><p>“Not really. The only person more oblivious than Chris is Andy, and April couldn't care less about me or where I am.”</p><p>“Good. They probably won’t be a problem now if they weren’t before. Is it okay if I tell Ann about this?”</p><p>“Would it even be possible for you to keep this from her?”</p><p>“Probably not.”</p><p>“Then of course you can tell her.”</p><p>Ben looked up at the ceiling. “You know, it started out kind of rocky, but I think we kind of had the sneakiness down after Li’l Sebastian’s funeral.”</p><p>Leslie sighed. “I miss that horse. And you’re right. We were definitely very sneaky, so if we can do that again, we’ll be fine. And now we have to talk about the hard part: we’re not going to be able to keep up this whole clandestine relationship forever. What are we gonna do about this six months or a year from now?”</p><p>Ben smiled at the fact that Leslie thought they would be together a year from now. “I’m not sure. If you’re a city councilor, wouldn’t you be my boss? Would I be allowed to date you?”</p><p>Leslie furrowed her eyebrows. “I’m not sure. But there’s only one way to find out.”</p><p>“What’s the way? I don’t get it. You want me to flirt with the current councilmen?”</p><p>Leslie curled up in a fit of laughter. “What? No. I meant ask Chris. But if you want to go bat your eyelashes at Milton, I won’t stop you as long as it doesn’t lead anywhere. I don’t want you cheating on me with a hundred-year-old man,” Leslie replied, still laughing.</p><p>Ben snorted. “Milton? Are you kidding me? If I had to go after one of the councilmen, It’d be Pillner.”</p><p>“Or Howser,” Leslie added.</p><p>“Or Dexhart. He may be a creep, but he’s a creep with some experience.”</p><p>“I hate that guy.”</p><p>“Me too. And also, I can’t just go up to Chris and ask if I can date a city councilor. That’d be really suspicious.”</p><p>“That’s a good point. I guess we’ll figure something out eventually. For now, I kinda just want to make out. Or make breakfast.”</p><p>“Why not both?” Ben asked.</p><p>“Okay, but breakfast first. I’m hungry.”</p><p>//</p><p>An hour later, they sat across from each other chatting amicably about the upcoming presidential election and eating pancakes at the table in the kitchen. The cooking process had taken a while. They’d gotten distracted multiple times. It had been a challenge for Ben to focus on whisking anything when Leslie was standing <em>right there</em>.</p><p>Leslie almost didn’t hear her phone ringing over the sound of Ben’s over-enthusiastic analysis of which Republican would be easiest for Obama to beat. But she did hear it, and Ben heard it too, so he went quiet with a short-lived frown.</p><p>“Who is it?” he asked.</p><p>“My campaign managers. Sorry.”</p><p>“No, it’s okay. I know they’re important. Take it. I’ll be quiet.”</p><p>Leslie answered the phone and greeted William.</p><p>After a brief update on the latest polls, William said, “Newport’s not happy with his campaign manager. They’re getting rid of him. I heard they’re gonna be replacing him with some Washington big-shot.”</p><p>Leslie’s eyes widened. “Who is it?”</p><p>“Well, her name is Jennifer Barkley, and she’s supposed to be one of the best in the business.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've never written something multi-chaptered before, so let me know if you like it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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